Oh, relationships...

I wrote this in my journal the other day and I really think more people should see it. I think there are some valuable things to learn from at least some of this... and I hope that some people might take advantage of it. So, here it goes.

I wanted to write a little about relationships. Josh and I are doing fantastic and it has given me some insight on what makes a successful relationship. Here are some of my key points...

*PATIENCE: Not in the in sense you might think of it as, although that is important, too. I think you need to think realistically. Just because you are madly in love with somebody 6 months into the relationship, doesn't mean you'll spend the rest of your life with that person. Things change, people change. The younger you are, the more likely you are to grow apart. Understanding this is key. Even talking about the possibility that you may not be together forever is, in my mind, healthy. It clears the air about issues you may be concerned about.
*KEEPING SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF: There always has to an escape for the both of you. You can't share everything. Need an example? What is MY escape? My journal is one! Granted, I do sometimes share thoughts with Josh that I jot down in my journal... but they don't always involve him. He respects my journal. He lets me write with no interruption, he doesn't read it, and doesn't even ask what I am writing about. My journal is MY OWN.
*GOOD COMMUNICATION: I am guilty of not doing this, myself! I tend to bottle up emotion and "issues" and refuse to talk to Josh about it without a fight. It is important to share your problems and issues (especially related to "us") in a civil and mature manner. A lot of times - its all about how you present it to them. Choose your words wisely and pick your battles. Consider that not everything is worth arguing about. Don't pick a fight that you'll forget about the next day. It really isn't worth it.
*MOST WOMEN OVER ANALYZE THINGS THEIR MEN SAY OR DO: Again, choose your battles, consider their viewpoint, and don't construe what they say or do into something it isn't!
*HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: I have come to realize that laughing off a potentially offensive comment is a lot easier and keeps me sane. Sometimes, they say stupid stuff and don't mean it the way it comes off. Reevaluate your perspective on the subject. Instead of getting defensive, agree to disagree. I have found myself laughing about a petty argument even minutes after we've "made up."
*STAY OPEN-MINDED: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Thanks be to living in the USA! I think it is good to have those political and moral "talks" with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Seriously consider their viewpoint before you devalue their opinion. Really LISTEN to their argument. I realize that some moral values can make or break a relationship, but not every one of them! I, on the other hand, have managed to stay friends with 3 girls from VERY different "categories" than myself. Catholic, republican, anti-abortion, whatever they may be, I have been friends with them for 7 years. Some subjects don't matter to every day life. Make your point and move on. Who knows, maybe you will influence a change of heart some day. But, don't be pushy.
*WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE: We all know that you must sacrifice something in any relationship, whether it be big or small. But, what are you willing to give up? Can you deal with their addictions? Are you willing to help them? Are you willing to give up casual dating? Are you willing to give up time with family and/or friends? These are all questions I have had to ask myself. Some of them stopped the relationship in their tracks, others didn't. A lot of times it is up to the individual. What you are willing to give up for one person, may not be the same for another. Give and take!
*TAKE SOME TIME FOR JUST THE TWO OF YOU: So, you've probably heard that a thousand times. It is so important, though, that I've sacrificed sounding repetitive. Get away from work, the house, the kids, the pets, the friends, the family, the television, etc. Have nothing but each other and the ability to hold a conversation. Or not! Sometimes the best things communicated are without words. But, just TALK to each other. You'll be surprised about how much you will learn! Rediscover the traditional way of bonding with somebody without cell phones, the internet, etc.
*ALONG WITH THAT, SPEND SOME TIME WITH THEM IN DIFFERENT SETTINGS: See them with their family, with their friends, in any social situation, bumming around at home, with children, with another couple, with YOUR friends, with YOUR family, etc. It has always been a learning experience for me to see them in these settings. You may or may not like it, but it will definitely tell you more about them as a person.
*REALLY PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR FEELINGS: I was told I show all emotion in my eyes. Josh can always tell (even when I try to hide it) how I am feeling. Tune into their "dead give away" and pay attention to it! Even the little things count. Even though I don't pay attention to the latest baseball or football news, Josh enjoys telling me about it. I could care less about who the newest steroid user is, but I do my best to not only listen, but engage in the conversation. Find out what is important to them and try your best to share it with them! I have actually found that the seemingly useless facts about sports, music and movies have deemed themselves to be quite useful! I've learned a lot from him!

So, I guess that is all for now. I know there is much, much more to it. But, these are 10 that I find the most important!