WOW.

This is how I feel today! How perfect is that?! I am at the gas station again. This would be the second day in a row that I have pulled doubles between the two jobs. Yesterday I was at OC at 10:15 and was off around 3:15. I had to be at the gas station at 3:30. I went home, changed, and made it to work on time. Today I was in at Old Chicago at 10:15 and off at 2:45. I was supposed to be here at the gas station at 3, but was about 5 minutes late. They didn't seem to mind! :)
So, tomorrow is my day off from BOTH jobs. I get to sleep in and be lazy all I want. I only have to work Tuesday through Friday next week! Josh and I are going back to Council Bluffs/Omaha (his "home") for his buddy's wedding on Saturday. I am looking forward to getting out of town for the weekend. I need it! Sometimes Ames just gets to me. The college students rub me wrong most of the time. I don't really fit in with any crowd here. I am not a business person. I am not really considered "blue collar"... and I am SO NOT the average "student." I don't drink, I don't do drugs... so what do I do? I work... a lot.
I worked out my schedual so that I don't work more than one job in one day. It will be nice to not have to rush, rush, rush all day long. I also made myself TOTALLY UNAVAILABLE on Mondays from both jobs. That gives me one day a week to myself. Who ho! Watch, I will probably get totally bored on Mondays and have NOTHING to do. It will probably just become my cleaning/laundry day! Maybe Josh and I will take the dogs out to a park or something. We could use some time outside the house before it starts getting fridgid cold again.
Hey... I have a question for everyone...
WHICH IS REALLY WORSE FOR YOU... regular or diet soda?
Seriously, somebody answer this question for me. I remember when I was little my Mom wouldn't let me drink diet sodas because they weren't sure what the artificial sweetners did to you. I haven't really heard if this is true or not... that they are "bad" for you. I have recently started drinking diet sodas because Josh is diabetic. Any soda we have in the house can't really be regular. So... yeah... tell me what you know... or what you think.
I am going to go smoke and use the restroom. If anything strikes me worth writing about later, I will do so.
Peace.

SOOOOOO bored at work. I just thought I would check in, since it has been a while. I am at the BP. We've had a total of 2 tows since I have come in, the shop is closed, and I swear EVERYBODY left for the weekend. I have had nothing but regulars, most of them the drunks that live in the area and come in for cigarettes and beer. We are so slow that the tow truck drivers just go home and wait for something to come in. This means I am here all by myself. Nobody to talk to but drunks... oh, and we can't forget the stoners. They like to buy Cigarillos and Zig Zags and act like I don't know what they are up to. I'm not stupid! Anywho. Not much else is going on in my exciting life right now. I am working two jobs, with at average of 1 day a week off completely. I am always tired and tend to feel like poo most of the time (this is mostly due to my HORRIBLE diet of pizza from one job and snack food from the other). Starting next week it will be better, though. I changed my availability at Old Chicago so I don't have to work there in the morning and then bust ass to get to BP in the afternoon. That will give me some days to sleep in during the week.
I am really bummed I didn't go to school this semester. I thought working 2 jobs would help with the bordom. Even though I stay busy, I don't feel like I am doing much that is actually productive. I am not using my brain! My work is mindless! I actually sat down the other day and thought of topics I could research and write about... just for the fun of it! How ridiculous is that?! :)
What else... oh. I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I probably should have done that about a year ago... but I was in denile. My anxiety is getting progressively worse even though I'm still on medication. I know better than most that you can't take care of your issues with just medication (even if it IS a chemical imbalance). I've learned that you must find help with coping skills and talking through whats going on. I see her on Wednesday. We'll see how it goes. I NEED TO FACE MY FEARS!!!
EEEeeeeek!

What a JOB!

I just landed a second job about 5 days ago. I have been working every day since. It is a gas station/towing service/shop. So, not only do I get to be a cashier, I also get to deal with people getting their cars fixed AND those that are pissed about their cars getting towed! Super! I actually like it, though. The people I work with are super nice, really laid back and fun. Plus, weird people come in here all the time. They entertain me. I guess I will be done with training sometime at the beginning of next week. It should be fun to be all alone at night.
I get to dick around on the computer while it is slow. You will probably see a lot more entries because of this. Yay!
Thats all I had for ya. Lame-O.

Oh, relationships...

I wrote this in my journal the other day and I really think more people should see it. I think there are some valuable things to learn from at least some of this... and I hope that some people might take advantage of it. So, here it goes.

I wanted to write a little about relationships. Josh and I are doing fantastic and it has given me some insight on what makes a successful relationship. Here are some of my key points...

*PATIENCE: Not in the in sense you might think of it as, although that is important, too. I think you need to think realistically. Just because you are madly in love with somebody 6 months into the relationship, doesn't mean you'll spend the rest of your life with that person. Things change, people change. The younger you are, the more likely you are to grow apart. Understanding this is key. Even talking about the possibility that you may not be together forever is, in my mind, healthy. It clears the air about issues you may be concerned about.
*KEEPING SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF: There always has to an escape for the both of you. You can't share everything. Need an example? What is MY escape? My journal is one! Granted, I do sometimes share thoughts with Josh that I jot down in my journal... but they don't always involve him. He respects my journal. He lets me write with no interruption, he doesn't read it, and doesn't even ask what I am writing about. My journal is MY OWN.
*GOOD COMMUNICATION: I am guilty of not doing this, myself! I tend to bottle up emotion and "issues" and refuse to talk to Josh about it without a fight. It is important to share your problems and issues (especially related to "us") in a civil and mature manner. A lot of times - its all about how you present it to them. Choose your words wisely and pick your battles. Consider that not everything is worth arguing about. Don't pick a fight that you'll forget about the next day. It really isn't worth it.
*MOST WOMEN OVER ANALYZE THINGS THEIR MEN SAY OR DO: Again, choose your battles, consider their viewpoint, and don't construe what they say or do into something it isn't!
*HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: I have come to realize that laughing off a potentially offensive comment is a lot easier and keeps me sane. Sometimes, they say stupid stuff and don't mean it the way it comes off. Reevaluate your perspective on the subject. Instead of getting defensive, agree to disagree. I have found myself laughing about a petty argument even minutes after we've "made up."
*STAY OPEN-MINDED: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Thanks be to living in the USA! I think it is good to have those political and moral "talks" with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Seriously consider their viewpoint before you devalue their opinion. Really LISTEN to their argument. I realize that some moral values can make or break a relationship, but not every one of them! I, on the other hand, have managed to stay friends with 3 girls from VERY different "categories" than myself. Catholic, republican, anti-abortion, whatever they may be, I have been friends with them for 7 years. Some subjects don't matter to every day life. Make your point and move on. Who knows, maybe you will influence a change of heart some day. But, don't be pushy.
*WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE: We all know that you must sacrifice something in any relationship, whether it be big or small. But, what are you willing to give up? Can you deal with their addictions? Are you willing to help them? Are you willing to give up casual dating? Are you willing to give up time with family and/or friends? These are all questions I have had to ask myself. Some of them stopped the relationship in their tracks, others didn't. A lot of times it is up to the individual. What you are willing to give up for one person, may not be the same for another. Give and take!
*TAKE SOME TIME FOR JUST THE TWO OF YOU: So, you've probably heard that a thousand times. It is so important, though, that I've sacrificed sounding repetitive. Get away from work, the house, the kids, the pets, the friends, the family, the television, etc. Have nothing but each other and the ability to hold a conversation. Or not! Sometimes the best things communicated are without words. But, just TALK to each other. You'll be surprised about how much you will learn! Rediscover the traditional way of bonding with somebody without cell phones, the internet, etc.
*ALONG WITH THAT, SPEND SOME TIME WITH THEM IN DIFFERENT SETTINGS: See them with their family, with their friends, in any social situation, bumming around at home, with children, with another couple, with YOUR friends, with YOUR family, etc. It has always been a learning experience for me to see them in these settings. You may or may not like it, but it will definitely tell you more about them as a person.
*REALLY PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR FEELINGS: I was told I show all emotion in my eyes. Josh can always tell (even when I try to hide it) how I am feeling. Tune into their "dead give away" and pay attention to it! Even the little things count. Even though I don't pay attention to the latest baseball or football news, Josh enjoys telling me about it. I could care less about who the newest steroid user is, but I do my best to not only listen, but engage in the conversation. Find out what is important to them and try your best to share it with them! I have actually found that the seemingly useless facts about sports, music and movies have deemed themselves to be quite useful! I've learned a lot from him!

So, I guess that is all for now. I know there is much, much more to it. But, these are 10 that I find the most important!

Okay, okay...

I have realized that I have had a lot of negative posts lately. I don't mean to be such a downer! Things just haven't been going well for my lately. In light of that, though... I suppose I could say something positive for once!
I finally finished training at the new job. I served yesterday morning all by myself for the first time. That went very well. Then tonight was my first time serving at night. This was interesting. I was really busy right off the bat when I got their. I made about $80 before tipping out the bartender and the expo. I consider that to be a damn good night!
I had to borrow money from my Mom for rent and some other small bills. After that I got a paycheck (only $70) and started getting cash from serving. Right now... I am sitting pretty. I am still in debt, no doubt about that. But, after I get off work, I now have the ability to stop and get milk and soda... whatever I need! It is great! I am so happy that I am working again. I have worked for about 9 days straight now. Although I am pretty tired, it actually feels pretty good. I am actually accomplishing something... thats all I need!
Anywho... that is about all I have to say right now. I think I am going to cuddle up in bed and watch a movie or something. I don't work again until tomorrow night!